I can’t swim…yet

Growing up, my motor skills were only used during one-sided physical fights with my sibling or when I had to run for my life because of a dog chasing me. In my part of the world, most people learnt how to swim in their village ponds. I grew up in the city, with no access to ponds, rivers or public swimming pools (they were not very common in Dhaka, and definitely not safe or accessible to the middle class). I was maybe 7 years old when I had my first encounter with a beach in Digha, West Bengal. I had no idea the waves would sweep the sand beneath my feet, so I lost balance, fell as the salty water gushed over my little body, making me panic.

I never learnt swimming. My parents both know how to swim. My mother can swim in a saree which is a whole different sport in my opinion. Yet somehow teaching us, putting us in swimming lessons, never crossed their minds. After a good 28 years around the Sun, my partner, who also never had a chance to learn, decides we should take swimming lessons. With full faith in this man who taught me how to ride a bike as an adult, I oblige.

I love the water. I was never scared of it even though I did not know how to swim. I can spend hours staring at a stream, waterfall or even a beach and get lost in my own thoughts. I am that person who listens to the sound of waves on YouTube when I need help to calm down or sleep.

I have taken around 15 swimming lessons over the course of the last 18 months. They are not cheap, and they are not easy. Even though there are indoor pools, the cold in Canada makes the packing for swimming lessons quite hectic. The thought of getting into the pool when its snowing outside is nothing short of dreadful to someone like me who likes curling up with a book or movie at home even during the summer.

But turns out showing up, even though is half the work, is not enough. I can do back floats nicely but my motor skills are very limited as I did not grow up playing any sports or even video games. (It’s been more than two years but I still think it’s a miracle that I can drive a car, on actual roads, with other cars there). When my brain receives instructions to kick, blow bubbles under water and get my head out to breathe while still kicking, also use my hands occasionally to move forward, it just gives up. Its feels like some next level of multitasking that my brain and body cannot deliver in sync. If I manage to breathe and go back in, I forget to kick. If I move my hands, I forget to take a breath and then tire myself out because I can’t have energy without oxygen. IT’S A STRUGGLE and struggling for too long makes me demotivated and sad.

At this point, I honestly don’t know if I will ever learn. But my plan for the rest of this year is to go to pools more often and keep trying by myself. I think I have acquired enough theoretical knowledge from instructors and now I need to keep putting myself in water so that my brain and body figure a way out to swim using all my limbs. I wish learning a new skill as an adult wasn't this difficult. If you learnt how to swim as a kid, please thank your caregivers and get yourself in a pool more often. Its one of the best forms of exercises and I can only imagine how much more fun it is when your own body is not against you.