Foreign Beaver Drives 🚘

During the summer of 2021, I started taking driving lessons from a South Asian middle-aged woman whom I found through a friend. She brought me fruits during our lessons because thats how brown mothers/aunties show affection.

I failed my first driving road test and took it pretty hard. I knew many people who failed multiple times but I was disappointed in myself because of how expensive the lessons were. I also realised that I wasn’t quite used to failing. It felt like I let my instructor down and on the drive back home from the test centre, I remember feeling like I was in the car with a parent after a PTA meeting full of complaints about me.

A vacation, few more lessons and multiple pep talks later, I went to attempt the road test again and passed. It was exactly one year ago today.

I remember a conversation I had with a few female friends (3-4 years ago) where they said that maybe women aren’t wired to be good drivers. We talked about never seeing our mothers drive back home. We grew up seeing men behind the wheels 100% of the time and thats what made us believe that it wasn’t our cup of tea. I also remember being consoled by another friend after failing - she said that North American kids drive their parents cars from a very early age. Whereas in our culture, its not a skill that is prioritised - which I also realised was very true.

Back home, owning a car itself is a status symbol. The upper middle class would have to spend a lot of their life savings to buy and maintain one. And once they did, they’d hire chauffeurs. Paying someone else (a man ofcourse) to drive your vehicle is the norm there.

Despite all that social conditioning, I really enjoy driving now. Yes, it can be a little daunting at times and my good, old friend anxiety doesn’t help but its very liberating . I don’t know or understand cars but I can see myself gaining that knowledge with time and experience. I also take pride in the fact that I’m the first girl in the history of my family (that I know of) who knows how to drive. I’m yet to be comfortable on highways and should be practicing for my highway license soon but I feel decently confident behind the wheels now (& I hope writing this doesn’t jinx it )

If you needed a sign to learn how to drive, this is it. Its okay if it takes you months to get the lesson booked. Its okay if you fail one, two or multiple times. Its okay if you are scared due to a traumatic experience. As long as you get back behind the wheels and keep trying, you’ll be fine. If I could do it, you can too. Its not a competition - its a skill that you can take your own time to hone or choose not to if your lifestyle permits. You do you!