I would like to believe that every immigrant at some point in their life wonders what life would be like had they stayed back in their country. These days, I often find myself craving for a home that does not exist. It's almost like the duality of my identity created a utopian sense of home to give my heart some comfort. I imagine how it would feel to have my current address in a city that eats my food, speaks my language, and sings my songs. I ponder in those thoughts for a while till the sensible part of me wakes up. I remind myself of the personal and social reasons that will make me feel unsafe and unhappy if I go back to the land of my roots. I tell myself how so many people would kill for this life in a developed country and humbly count my blessings. I then carry on with my immigrant life - safely tucking away the nostalgia for a life that could have been.
International students leave home at a time when they barely know themselves, let alone the rest of the world. We move on our own and suddenly the student visas and passports become the most important part of our lives. Our favorite festivals, birthdays, family milestones, pass by year after year till we almost forget what they felt like. On those days of the year, you’ll find us doing what we do every day – study, work, run errands, be stressed. But if you look closely, you’ll find us a little sadder than usual because we will be questioning ourselves whether any of this was worth it.
You ask us where is home? Many of us don’t have one. We just have addresses. And sometimes we need the luck to be able to even find and afford that address.